Proud Alumnus and Grateful Recovered Addict
I’ve lived life on both sides of the tracks, from inner-city ghettos to small country towns. My journey into drugs and alcohol began at the age of 11. It started with smoking cigarettes, which quickly progressed to marijuana and alcohol. What began as "Friday nights and weekends of fun" soon turned into a life of crime and everything in between. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted—and I made money doing it. It felt good, so why stop? I stood by my morals of loyalty and honor to my family and my squad, regardless of the situation, the outcome, or my personal safety.
In the hustle of life, hard drugs became a coping mechanism for the pain; they provided the endurance needed to handle the things that shaped the darker side of my decisions. It wasn't until recently that the demons in my life finally got loud enough for me to want them silenced with something stronger.
I got tired of being the strong one—the one everyone leaned on, the ear to every problem, and the shoulder for every tear. I was the fixer of all problems requiring more than words. I’d had enough. All the money and flash in the world couldn't keep my lack of spiritual energy at bay. I let go of family and friends and began to isolate, focusing only on what was directly in front of me: survival, and the need for money to maintain a high that drowned out the noise and chaos I once thrived in.
A good brother of mine finally got me to admit my usage to him. I had kept it hidden fairly well for about a year. At that point, he rallied two of my other brothers, and one of them suggested treatment. I agreed immediately.
About 50 days into my first treatment center, my anger caused me to relapse. I’ve always had a problem with anger. But thankfully, due to what I learned there and my willingness not to give up completely, a friend I now consider a brother and my sponsor both reached out to Russ at Simon House. I went to detox two days later. Five days after that, I was admitted into Simon House Recovery.
If not for the grace of God and these people who genuinely understood and wanted to help me see my sobriety through, I wouldn't be where I am today. My caseworker and my counselor—whom I refer to as my guardian angels—played a pivotal part in helping me work through the things I had held inside for far too many years.
I am a strong person, capable of saying no to anything I choose. But what I didn't know was that there were things inside me that kept me in a constant state of being unable to say no. They kept me from wanting to say no. I was afraid of the change and of having to face the demons and skeletons in my closet.
The combination of Wellbriety, the 12 Steps, Dharma, and SMART Recovery all played key roles in helping me learn about myself. The classes at Simon House were exactly what I needed to dive deep and figure out what was allowing the darkness inside me to win.
Today, I am clean, sober, clear-minded, and a lot less "heavy." I am spiritually aware and mentally strong. Simon House made it possible for me to take the "Recovery Coach Ally" program. While participating in that week-long course, I realized that my true calling is to leave my old life behind and move forward into a career in addictions work. I owe this to Simon House and everyone in it for not giving up on me and for matching the effort I put into myself.
Thank you, Simon House.
— R.B.
Proud Alumnus and Grateful Recovered Addict